WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
