guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
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Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
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it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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