I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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