i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
