we have officially lost it.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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