The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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