You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
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btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
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Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He called his dick the "gentle giant"