alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.