You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
