Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.