splinters make it hard to masturbate
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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