Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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