Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
