operation harelip BJ is a go
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
