I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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