Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My balls are so social today.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
