I cannot find my penis.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
