I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
