Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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