i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
