I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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