So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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