I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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