just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
