I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
When did angry sex become our thing?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
