u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he thought i was a dude.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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