Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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