now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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