He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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