Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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