i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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