You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
