Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
