I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
