Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
