somebody snuck up and got me drunk
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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