I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
They took my balls.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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