I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
