there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
