Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
And then he peed in my hair
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