Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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