When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.