you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I think Iâ€™ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know thatâ€™s the highest possible level because itâ€™s when I met you