I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
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i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
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So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.