yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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