5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now