Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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