3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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