i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I feel like abortions should bother me more
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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