Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
