She's JV to your varsity
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
