Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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