wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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