ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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