He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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