he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
