a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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