This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
