I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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