Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
