So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
