hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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