you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Princesses don't give blow jobs
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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