Well apparently he's into motor boating.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
