have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
