I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
