I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
